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Leslie
02 Dec 2008, 15:40

You know, its about how you feel, no one can judge another on what they decide to do with their body. If a relationship was began after a night of hot sex, then it was mean to be if. Sex too soon, has little to do with faith.

Terry
03 Dec 2008, 12:49

I totally agree with you. So many times we as women believe that we have to use what we got to get what we want, but I'm sorry, in the era that we are currently livin we cannot afford to become statistics anymore. I am ready to wait for the man that God has ordained for me, and if it means waiting...i will do it.

Ro
03 Dec 2008, 13:27

I know a few couples that met and married within 2 weeks of knowing each other and have been married for over 30 years.....you just never know what will become of a night of passion and lust. I have'nt been that lucky. From what I've experienced, it does'nt matter how long you've known someone before you sleep with them, the outcome can never be forseen. I knew my ex-husband for years before we had sex and that shit was a nightmare but I had a relationship after that where I had sex with someone early in the relationship and it lasted for years. I'm not saying that women should just give themselves freely but we should evaluate that person because sometimes you know right off what they guy is all about.

Tiffani
03 Dec 2008, 13:56

Loving a man is a feeling like no other, but loving the right man is even better. And I, just like the author have learned alot about respecting myself as a woman when it comes to men. And based on what I've learned I've gained a new identity instead of the promicuous woman I once was. I am single today and have been so now for over 3 1/2 years and it doesn't bother me one bit. I would like that special someone to come along, but I know that in order to find the right one I have to be lead by the Lord. And I've learned that when we leap out on flesh without being directed or guided by the Lord, we ended up messing up because we didn't wait on God. So, I'm hopeful that the man that's intended for me will eventually come my way to find me.

Lo
03 Dec 2008, 13:56

I back you 100% in your observation and advice to all women, and espcecially women of color. It never ceases to amaze me how so many women complain about brothers and how they're being treated, but never stop to reflect upon their own behavior. I've never believed in love at first sight...and doubt very seriously if at this point I ever will. However, I do believe that there are some things worth waiting for, and I'm one of them. Women must get beyond using sex as means of attracting and keeping a brother...he can get it any and everywhere, so yours is nothing really different. What is different and attractive to a man is a woman who knows her self-worth and is unwilling to compromise it for what may turn out to be a moment of pleasure. What's even more attractive is when we allow a man to be a man and pursue what he wants to the point that he takes the time to nurture it with time, attention and love and then decides that he wants to keep for himself for the rest of your lives.

Tiffani
03 Dec 2008, 14:03

Ro: defining the time limit that one waits to have a pasionate moment with an individual is not the only aspect of finding that right one. It also depends on capalibility, respect, and ones upbringing. Because if he/she are two decent individuals that are ready for a full-on committment, then a one night stand may not affect their future. But at the same time, its also a game of Russian roulet, and you never know whether or not you'll win or loose that first round. So, even though there are always those possibilities of things working out or going sour, the author is trying to encourage women to think before they act instead of making rationale decisions that end up ruining the rest of their lives.

BigJenn
03 Dec 2008, 14:10

I totally agree with the article. We (women) are emotional creatures and we DO tie sex and emotions together. That's why we are attached and don't want to or know how to let go even AFTER the man starts f-ing up or as the author put it "showing his azz". I look at that type of situation like this: If you do decide to sleep with a brotha soon after meeting him, then DON'T plan on or look for it being a serious thing. If you want it to develope into a serious thing, then take your time before sleeping with them. This article pretty much said it all for me.

BigJenn
03 Dec 2008, 14:14

RIGHT ON, TIFFANI!!!

Sagittarius' POV
03 Dec 2008, 15:19

Nice article Lorie, but u women must understand...just like it may take 6 months for us to show our ass, it may take 6 months for u to show urs. At some point it begins to make no sense. We know ur not a virgin or practicing celebacy. So while we're waiting for 19 weeks and counting, we know someone is between those beautiful thick, yellow, scorpio thighs. Let us know if we are waisting our time so we can move on instead u wanna play games and dodge phone calls. While ur acting like it's such a priveledge to be with u, meat like mines ain't found everywhere. How many times has he picked yo fine ass up carried u to the mirror and tell u to enjoy the view while u being worked up n down. Ur turned on because u didn't think at 5'11" 170lbs I could do that 2 u. I've expressed my interest and treat my beautiful Black Queen with total respect. I'm just saying, u already know what u wanna do ladies. So take advantage before another is looking in the mirror watching the sweat trickle down over my back muscles at work.

Creole
04 Dec 2008, 06:18

Wowwwww. Sagittarius' POV. You've proven the author's point. Based on your reply, it seems as though you're totally showing your azz because she doesn't want to get with you. What if she did get with you????? What else would you do? You've further proven her point. Make sure you get to know someone or they may end up sending a nasty comment on your website. Well, keep counting because your 19 weeks and counting will probably be infinity. If this is how you treat women, you will always be counting. Try being respectful next time. That may work in your favor. Pull yourself together, my brotha.

yah mon.
04 Dec 2008, 08:59

A good woman is hard to find. What's going on with you females. Get your act together.

We men do not want to be virgins forever! It is time for women to grow up.

Tiffani
04 Dec 2008, 09:22

First of all:"Sagittarius' POV", your words are so scattered I don't know what you were trying to say. But I did get the point that you were referring to sexual activity, and how good you assume yourself to be. But I hate to bus your bubble, but men like you need to see that all women are not in it for the sex. We look for emotional connection's and longevity, and the fact that you feel that you are KING KONG in the bedroom is irrelevant. In addition the topic was dedicated to single women, so you had no business leaving a comment in the first place; unless you were going to step up like a real man and say "hey I am a man that will treat my queen like the gem that she is to me". But instead you come in like you Don Juan w/the pipe to lay it down. And that's the problem w/ya'll men: you think w/what's in your pants instead of thinking logically about the women's feelings. I want to be wined, dined, carresed, and made love too. I want to be compatiable w/you so that later on when things do get sour I know that you will still have my back in the end. So, I've come to the conclusion that all men aren't dogs in just in the ones you pick and how they were raised.

To Sagittarius POV and Yah Mon
04 Dec 2008, 10:23

Women in this day and age are dealing with the likes of individuals like you, it is extremely difficult to date when men have a mindset of this nature. SEX is always on the brain, which, I suppose is only fair since that's the furthest you can see anything. I know it is often said that men FALL in love, it is just something that happens. But love can not be found, nor can the beauty of a person be experienced, as the author said, if there is only sex involved. SOME black men and men period, have a lot of growing up to do. I suppose if we had more men raising our sons teaching them how to be men, then rap songs, then we would not have idiotic response of this nature.

The worse part of it all is, would these same men have this advice for their daughters, mothers, sisters, aunts,etc? No. Sad, really sad.

Tiffani
04 Dec 2008, 14:16

You know what Ladies, you all are right. If we had more men stepping up to the plate to raise their kids instead of leaving the responsibility on the women, then maybe our young black men would have a better opportunity at being a better man. But unfortunately that isn't the case in today's society because the majority of our children are raised in single parent homes where younger & younger women are prefering to be their childs friend instead of teacher/disciplinarian. Children need to be taught, lead, and directed in the direction of leadership, morality, respect & dignity. And if the leader of the home is not exemplifying those same characteristics then how can we begin to expect our men to become better men? First we've got to gain order in our homes, schools, and communities, and stop allowing the streets & tv to parent our children. We've also got to be better parents so that our children can become better adults. Within the past month alone I've seen too many cases where children have participated in violent/criminal acts which could have been deadly. In one case a 2nd grader took a butter knife to cool to rob another of $1. This HAS TO STOP!!!! Parents lets step up and raise our children so that we can stop our boys from becoming men like the ones who posted comments on this post!

A.W.
04 Dec 2008, 14:46

Thank you Tiffani.
I am reading these comments, and I just can't understand why it is so difficult for some men to see what it means for a woman to have respect for herself verses having low self esteem to keep a man, and this is not saying if you have had sex on the first date you have low self esteem. Because I have drop them drawls on several occassions, but when did it become such a problem for a man to accept the fact that a woman wants to wait, not games or because she thinks that she can keep a man interested, but for what is best for her and the relationship with the man.

Many women use sex to keep a man. I believe that so many men are becoming upset and leaving post like the ones commenting here because they see the word WAIT. And what's so wrong with a woman waiting to figure out what she wants to do with HER body. I am just so out done by the lack of intelligence that our men are expressing on this site. I can't believe it, but like one of the comments say. We are allowing rap songs to raise our men, and look how that's turning out.

DoJo
05 Dec 2008, 13:02

Thanks for the real talk. What catches me is that you said you've learned a few things over years. Thanks to writers like you many young woman that are just starting out with experiencing sex can save themselves alot of grief and pain. I never liked pain so i was not the hard headed one.lol
Just showing some love.

BIg Daddy
31 Dec 2008, 19:28

That brother is for real! Tried of you {all} cry babbies talking about love, sex and black men with money in a relationship white women.

Everything happens naturally when the right connection is made. Sex is the least, yet is apart of a great relationship. Men are not in a rush to eat your cherries. That's the last thing on a man's mind.

Like the President Elect, we are creating a better babylon system for our women and kids. {Men can live without sex}

This what I call high tech lynching. Sex is one of the tool women {with education} use to put down brothers that's on TOP.

yah mon
31 Dec 2008, 19:50

Just happen to be online before the New Year. Happy New Year everyone.

Thanks Big Daddy! Be easy. Your name alone can calm down all these angry women.

Tiffani is so angry. We can be disagreeable without getting angry. Sister, stand up!