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Crush808
10 Sep 2008, 18:59

Dr. D

Im 31 yr old male soldier stationed in Hawaii. My problem is complicated. I have been involved with a woman (age: 27)for about 3 1/2 yrs. We started in Korea and got separated when she PCS to Cuba. I stayed in Korea for about another 8mths before coming to Hawaii. It has been a rollercoster ride. She comes from a broken home where the mother was verbally abusive while the father, to escape, would leave the home, club, have different women and gamble composively. It was a bad situation because she has adopted the same bad trait from parents. Crazy mood swings, being needy and constantly acting out has brought me down from the strong man I was in the past. Before I met her, I was prideful, with a confidence that intimidate others. Now Im cordial and alittle docial. I knew I had to change to teach her that the world wasn't what she experienced as a child. So I did.

I gave into all her demands. Jewelery, pets, 2 home mortgages, 2 40k cars, breast augmentation and whatever she asked for. I even spent over $20,000 in 4 months on callin her in Cuba. I did all that and was met with her being deceatful. Going dates with other men. Leaving me on occassions. Constant arguments over her insecurity of what I was doing. It got to the point where I quit. I asked her to leave. But unfortunately she was pregnant. But because of the past I just couldn't do it pregnant or not. I still needed time to get myself back. She has a history of miscarriages in our relationship. And that is what happened. Now she blames me because I wasn't there. I know she really loves me and that she is immature. I made her go to counseling in hopes she can figure out how she can be fixed. Should I stick it out or should just go?

A.W.
16 Sep 2008, 13:13

Seriously...
People and their issue. Why can't any of you see what it is that you need to do about these men or these women. Is your heart and self pride so shattered that you will subject yourselves to anything. Like the sister with the cheating man. Please he is cheating and those are not your damn kids. That's a no brainer. LEAVE!!!! Like this brother here Crush808. You will stay in a relationship you KNOW is not working. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? We have one life, one! Yet we waste the little time that we have on earth with people who do not love us as we love them in return, and then question why or if we should stay. That should not even be a question. You are not put on this earth to be unhappy, so why are YOU allowing someone else to steal your joy. MY GOODNESS! What kind of BS? I can't do it. This is some straight up BITHCASSNESS, AND IT IS AT A LEVEL RED!

Jay
22 Sep 2008, 11:42

A.W.

What you mad at? You seem alittle hurt about reading some issues of the heart. Are you that tough. You took it to another level with your comments. You might need to release some fustrations of your own. Cuz as much of in control your are tring to convince the readers..... you show you are out of control with alot of emotion. You might want to find some love, homie!!!

to Jay from A.W.
30 Sep 2008, 09:21

Whatever,
I am in control and it was an emotional topic. Don't make an assumption on me because I made a comment about something the WAY that I wanted to. I AM NOT mad at anything. I just think it is idiotic for any person to stay with something that is not making them happy when you don't have to. PERIOD.

Vette
30 Sep 2008, 10:42

The bottom line is these people have to get out of these destructive relationships. I know it's hard, because I've been there, but once you realize that you deserve better and that you're not going to settle, your life will be so much better. I found that once I got out of my bad relationship, "peace of mind" was the one thing that felt soooooo good. When you find it, you won't want to sacrifice it again. My prayers are with you both, because I know how difficult it is.

Maria
17 Oct 2008, 14:35

Hey,
AW: I agree with you and I can see why you're mad; especially if people constantly write in asking the same types of questions. "Should I stay"? Why would you ask when you already know the answer? Basically you're looking for someone else to confirm what you already know, but you're either not man enough or woman enough to handle it on your own. Blogger/author's get tired of hearing the same old type of crap "oh, wo is me". He** if you tired, walk the he** away. Stop allowing yourself to be a punching bag and fight back. Im a mother and I wouldn't want my son to subject himself to a woman that takes advantage of his kindness. But at the same time as a woman, I wouldn't play the games that some of these women play. But for you men, its all in how you carry yourself. A women will get away with what you allow her to get away with, and if you allow her to cheat and say "baby it'll be ok"; then you deserve every bit that you get.